Funny ragebaiting quotes

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

94 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

87 shares on Messenger this month:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

60 shares on Discord this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

53 shares on Discord this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”