Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I have a very active anti-social life.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Trending via Snapchat:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Breaking via Discord:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Spotted on Reddit:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Just shared via Instagram:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Live now on Instagram:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Funny ransom note quotes

Funny ransom note quotes bring a hilarious twist to the classic mystery vibe 🕵️‍♂️📝. Perfect for pranksters and meme lovers alike, these cheeky lines turn a serious scenario into pure comedy gold 😂💰. Whether you’re crafting a quirky party invite or just want to crack up your friends, dive into the world of playful threats and witty demands that keep everyone laughing instead of worried! 🎉😆

New funny ransom note quotes 👇

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

2 weeks ago

date, funny observation, humor, new, new year, note, notes, observation, old, old year, procrastination, ransom, ransom note, still, writing, year
Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

2 weeks ago

communication, death, devastating, effect, having, humor, irony, media, note, notes, print, print media, producers, ransom, ransom note, satire, thing, traditional, traditional media, worst

All funny ransom note quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

99 shares on X this month:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

14 shares on X this month:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Happiness is an inside job.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Seen just now on Discord:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Just shared via Twitch:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Spotted on Twitch:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Trending via TikTok:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Trending via Twitch:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Breaking via Instagram:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Seen just now on X:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴