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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,757

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Going bananas on Twitch:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Making waves on Threads:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Making waves on X:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Making waves on Facebook:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Funny ransom note quotes

Funny ransom note quotes bring a hilarious twist to the classic mystery vibe 🕵️‍♂️📝. Perfect for pranksters and meme lovers alike, these cheeky lines turn a serious scenario into pure comedy gold 😂💰. Whether you’re crafting a quirky party invite or just want to crack up your friends, dive into the world of playful threats and witty demands that keep everyone laughing instead of worried! 🎉😆

New funny ransom note quotes 👇

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

2 weeks ago

date, funny observation, humor, new, new year, note, notes, observation, old, old year, procrastination, ransom, ransom note, still, writing, year
Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

2 weeks ago

communication, death, devastating, effect, having, humor, irony, media, note, notes, print, print media, producers, ransom, ransom note, satire, thing, traditional, traditional media, worst

All funny ransom note quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I woke up alive again.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

40 shares on WeChat this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My life is based on a true story.

83 shares on Slack this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a writer means having a story you want everyone in the world to read, except anyone who knows you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If your drinking story doesn’t involve law enforcement, I’m not listening.

Just shared via Threads:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Live now on Facebook:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

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