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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,988

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,988

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Breaking via Telegram:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Shared recently on Instagram:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Reported on Instagram:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Spotted on Telegram:

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m sick of living through history!

Reported on TikTok:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

826 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,988

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,988

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Just shared via Slack:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Spotted on X:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

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