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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,743

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nothing gets my heart pumping like receiving an annoying newsletter.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Making waves on Threads:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Trending via Threads:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Shared recently on Messenger:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Funny remembering quotes

Funny remembering quotes bring a smile to your face when memory plays tricks on you 🤪🧠 From forgetful moments to hilarious mix-ups, these witty lines turn everyday blunders into pure comedy gold 😂✨ Ready to laugh at those “oops” times and celebrate the joy of remembering (or not)? Let’s dive into some playful reminders that make memory mishaps unforgettable! 🎉📚

New funny remembering quotes 👇

All funny remembering quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on X this month:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My first mistake was leaving the womb.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Icarus loved hot wings.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My lips could use some attention today.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Nothing humbles you faster than rereading something you were proud of yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: “Close Enough.”

Breaking via YouTube:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Going viral on Threads:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Just landed via Messenger:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

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