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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Breaking via WeChat:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Going viral on WeChat:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via Threads:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Just shared via Reddit:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Seen just now on YouTube:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,971

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,971

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

Reported on Threads:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Spotted on TikTok:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Trending via Facebook:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Going viral on Messenger:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

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