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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Going viral on Discord:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Just shared via Discord:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Seen just now on Threads:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

25 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Going viral on Facebook:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Just landed via YouTube:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Trending via Telegram:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Just shared via Snapchat:

No, it’s fine. I watched some cartoons and now I feel a little more at ease with your stupidness.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

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