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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,284

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Spotted on Facebook:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Live now on Telegram:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Spotted on Discord:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

Seen just now on YouTube:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Spotted on Instagram:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Tested positive for being single af

Spotted on Slack:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Funny schizophrenic quotes

Funny schizophrenic quotes bring a lighthearted twist to a complex topic 🤪🧠, showing how humor can shine through even the toughest moments. They remind us that laughter is a powerful tool for connection and understanding 😂✨. Dive into these playful gems that celebrate resilience and wit, proving that sometimes the best medicine is a good chuckle! 🎉🤣

New funny schizophrenic quotes 👇

All funny schizophrenic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on YouTube this month:

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nostalgia is mostly dumb nonsense, but movie rental stores were legitimately better than streaming.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Trending via WeChat:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Going viral on X:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Breaking via Telegram:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Spotted on Threads:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Trending via Threads:

I may not understand women, but cheeseburgers have never sent me mixed signals, and for that they’ll always have my heart.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

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