Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m so tired. Let’s see all of the horrible things happening in the world today before I try to sleep peacefully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Making waves on Discord:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Breaking via Pinterest:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Seen just now on Discord:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Going viral on WeChat:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Just landed via Instagram:

I miss when my hardest decision was Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Trending via Telegram:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Funny selfy quotes

Funny selfy quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor 😄 and personality 📸 to your snaps! Whether you’re striking a silly pose 🤪 or just capturing your everyday vibes, these witty lines will make your selfies pop and your followers double-tap 💥. Ready to turn your camera roll into a laughter fest? Let’s dive into the funniest and most relatable selfie captions that’ll keep the good vibes rolling! 🎉✨

New funny selfy quotes 👇

All funny selfy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Threads this month:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

66 shares on Instagram this month:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Just shared via Slack:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Seen just now on X:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Just shared via Discord:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Spotted on Threads:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Going viral on Twitch:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

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