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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has shared:

Being depressed is so embarrassing. It’s like, look at me, guys. I have nothing positive to say, and I make everything miserable.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering β€œusually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has shared:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on YouTube:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Making waves on YouTube:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both β€” naked people arguing about politics.

Going viral on Messenger:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Just landed via Slack:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Seen just now on Threads:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

Funny sharp quotes

Funny sharp quotes are the perfect blend of wit and sass that slice through boredom like a ninja star πŸ₯·βœ¨. They make you laugh, think, and maybe even raise an eyebrow πŸ˜‰πŸ”₯. Whether you’re looking to spice up your captions or just enjoy some clever humor, these zesty one-liners will keep you entertained and your social game strong πŸ’¬πŸ’₯. Get ready to chuckle and get sharp! πŸ˜„βš‘

New funny sharp quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny sharp quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

74 shares on Threads this month:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

52 shares on X this month:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I disagree with my politics.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

8 year gap on resume that just says β€œkarate”.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡― has bookmarked:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has shared:

Called in, β€œI can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has bookmarked:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Twitch:

β€œI read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Just shared via Discord:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A spoonful of peanut butter from the jar will fix me.

Just shared via X:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Breaking via TikTok:

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wish it were social acceptable to say β€œI don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Just shared via Instagram:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

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