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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Trending via Instagram:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Trending via Reddit:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Shared recently on Threads:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Just shared via Instagram:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Going viral on Facebook:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Shared recently on Discord:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Trending via Discord:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Live now on TikTok:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

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Funny shrieking quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Just shared via WeChat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Just landed via Facebook:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Reported on TikTok:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

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