Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,389

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Spotted on Reddit:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Just landed via WeChat:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Just shared via Reddit:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Funny significant other quotes

Funny significant other quotes bring laughter and love together in the most delightful way 😄❤️ Whether you’re celebrating quirky habits or those adorable little moments, these witty lines capture the joy of being with your special someone 💑✨ Ready to brighten your day and your relationship with a dose of humor? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on love that’ll make you smile and say, “That’s so us!” 😂💕

New funny significant other quotes 👇

All funny significant other quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Discord this month:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

64 shares on YouTube this month:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,572

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Spotted on Messenger:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Going viral on Facebook:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Going viral on X:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

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