Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Girls know how to flirt until it’s with someone they actually like.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Deleting university to focus on Twitter.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Seen just now on Messenger:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Trending via X:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Spotted on Threads:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Freshly posted on X:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Funny staycation quotes

Funny staycation quotes bring the vacation vibes right to your living room 🏡✨ Whether you’re binge-watching shows in pajamas or turning your backyard into a tropical paradise 🌴🍹, these witty lines capture the joy of relaxing without leaving home. Get ready to laugh, chill, and embrace the art of doing absolutely nothing with a smile 😄🎉 Staycation goals, unlocked!

New funny staycation quotes 👇

All funny staycation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Good morning to everyone who still believes what they see with their own two eyes.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

35 shares on Threads this month:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

99 shares on Threads this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Going viral on TikTok:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Just shared via Telegram:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Live now on Twitch:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Trending via Telegram:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴