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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Breaking via X:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Seen just now on Slack:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Just shared via Threads:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Spotted on Discord:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Live now on Facebook:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Just landed via Twitch:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Just shared via Discord:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Live now on Slack:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Seen just now on Slack:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Spotted on TikTok:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Trending via Messenger:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Reddit:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Making waves on Instagram:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

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