Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Going viral on Twitch:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Just landed via WeChat:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Just shared via Snapchat:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Trending via Snapchat:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Going viral on Telegram:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Just shared via X:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Funny traditional quotes

Funny traditional quotes bring a splash of humor to timeless wisdom 😄✨ They turn old sayings into laugh-out-loud moments, proving that even classic advice can have a cheeky twist 😂🎉 Whether you’re looking to brighten your day or share a witty gem with friends, these clever lines blend tradition with fun perfectly 🎭💬 Get ready to chuckle while soaking up some time-tested truths!

New funny traditional quotes 👇

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

0

2 months ago

age, humor, i, know, start, think, traditional, work
The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

0

2 months ago

around, casual, casual wear, comfort, costume, fashion, humor, lifestyle, me, only, people, sweatpants, traditional, traditional costume, wear
I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

0

2 months ago

authority, being, fit, good, home, humor, job, job market, market, nonconformity, personal, personal values, sarcasm, self-righteousness, strengths, traditional, values, workplace
Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

0

2 months ago

communication, death, devastating, effect, having, humor, irony, media, note, notes, print, print media, producers, ransom, ransom note, satire, thing, traditional, traditional media, worst

All funny traditional quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Messenger this month:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

61 shares on Slack this month:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

63 shares on Threads this month:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,711

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Going viral on Telegram:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Spotted on Instagram:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Trending via Discord:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴