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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Going viral on YouTube:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Breaking via Facebook:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Going viral on Discord:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Shared recently on X:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Spotted on Facebook:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Live now on Messenger:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Live now on Twitch:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Live now on Twitch:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Just landed via Threads:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Seen just now on Discord:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

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