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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,693

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Spotted on Facebook:

This year has gone by so quick. Christmas is basically tomorrow.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Freshly posted on Threads:

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

Going viral on Discord:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Live now on Messenger:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Live now on TikTok:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Funny unexpected profession quotes

New funny unexpected profession quotes 👇

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

0

2 months ago

career, degree, funny career, Groundhog, having, humor, imagine, irony, meteorologist, prediction, profession, prophecy, science, science degree, unexpected, unexpected profession, weather, weather prediction

Someone from 🇸🇲 has recently shared this quote.

92 shares on Messenger this month.

All funny unexpected profession quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

52 shares on Slack this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

How do couples who live together get anything done? I wouldn’t leave my bed if my girlfriend was in it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Just shared via WeChat:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Seen just now on X:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Trending via TikTok:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Going viral on Discord:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny unexpected profession quotes

New funny unexpected profession quotes 👇

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

All funny unexpected profession quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨