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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

15 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Threatening my wife with a tariff every time she makes fun of me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Spotted on Instagram:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Going viral on WeChat:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Home » Funny Unexpected Visit Quotes

Funny unexpected visit quotes

New funny unexpected visit quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Commentary:
"Better watch out! Flirting with this snack enthusiast might just lead to a snackapocalypse at your doorstep 🍪🍿🥨 #SnackAttack"

For even more funny unexpected visit quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unexpected visit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

15 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Just shared via Threads:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Shared recently on Threads:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Going viral on Twitch:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Reported on Messenger:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Live now on Facebook:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

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