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Funny unexpected wisdom quotes

  • Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

    Commentary:
    “Graduated with a degree in surviving school! 🎓😅 #HonoredAndRelieved #BarelyMadeIt”

  • Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

    Commentary:
    “Just don’t let it be the start of a long-term ‘bread’ relationship! 🥪🤣”

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

    Commentary:
    “Living that ‘Goals Before Rolls’ life! 😎💪 #KeepGrinding #SunshineForTheSoul”

  • Might quit my job to focus on summer.

    Commentary:
    “Finally found my dream job: full-time summer enthusiast! 😎☀️🍹 #CareerGoals”

  • Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

    Commentary:
    “Next stop: The kitchen, for my epic snacking adventure! 🚪➡️🍿😄”

  • Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, my bed still recognizes me as its rightful owner after my vacation. 🛏️🙌😴 #HomeSweetBed”

  • “You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

    Commentary:
    “When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂”

  • Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

    Commentary:
    “Who do I talk to about making this a law? ☕️💼✨ #CaffeineRights #PerkMeUp”

  • If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

    Commentary:
    “When they realize you’re not coming back, cue the plot twist they’ll talk about for ages! 🍿🎬 #DramaQueenExit”

  • Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

    Commentary:
    “Just waiting for my cameo in next week’s episode! 🎬😂 #ChaosClub”

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