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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Seen just now on YouTube:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Just shared via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Reported on TikTok:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Just landed via Messenger:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

They’re making me do work at work.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I still get so surprised every time someone I find attractive finds me attractive. Like, are you sure?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Trending via WeChat:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Making waves on Instagram:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Just landed via Twitch:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Just landed via Messenger:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Breaking via Reddit:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Going viral on Facebook:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

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