Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Going viral on YouTube:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Going viral on Threads:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Trending via Instagram:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Funny vendetta quotes

Funny vendetta quotes bring a hilarious twist to the classic grudge game 😈💥 Whether you’re plotting playful payback or just love a cheeky comeback, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud 😂🔥 Get ready to turn a serious feud into pure fun with a dash of humor and a sprinkle of sass! 😜⚡️ Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your next clapback!

New funny vendetta quotes 👇

All funny vendetta quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

27 shares on Discord this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

51 shares on Threads this month:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m ready to try another planet.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

For International Women’s Day, I’m going to celebrate by hitting every curb I see.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

29 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

79 shares on X this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, so this Mercury retrograde is actually really demonic and soul-crippling. Let’s wrap this up by midnight.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Freshly posted on X:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Trending via Reddit:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Breaking via Reddit:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Just landed via Reddit:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

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