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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Twitch:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Just landed via X:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Just landed via Facebook:

I think God was high when he made me.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Trending via Telegram:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Making waves on Slack:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Spotted on Messenger:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

58 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Just shared via Instagram:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Seen just now on Facebook:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Just landed via WeChat:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

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