Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Live now on WeChat:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Trending via Pinterest:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Breaking via WeChat:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Funny world domination quotes

Funny world domination quotes bring a hilarious twist to taking over the globe 🌍😈! Perfect for anyone plotting world peace or just a little mischief, these witty lines turn serious ambitions into laugh-out-loud moments 😂👑. Whether you’re dreaming big or just need a chuckle, get ready to conquer with a smile and some clever humor! 😜🔥

New funny world domination quotes 👇

All funny world domination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Telegram this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

39 shares on Threads this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

45 shares on Discord this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

85 shares on X this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

36 shares on X this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,565

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Trending via Snapchat:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Trending via Reddit:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Making waves on Slack:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Trending via Facebook:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Breaking via Discord:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Breaking via TikTok:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

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