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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Only at 27 do you become old, and then when you turn 30, you become younger than ever. That’s just how it goes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Just landed via Slack:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Making waves on Slack:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Trending via WeChat:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Just shared via Messenger:

Of all the ways to be miserable, marriage is the most expensive.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Making waves on Facebook:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Funny worst decision quotes

New funny worst decision quotes 👇

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

0

1 month ago

anyone, decision, decisions, ever, every, humor, i, management, morning, procrastination, self-deprecation, time, time management, wake, wake up, worst, worst decision

Someone from 🇪🇸 has recently copied this quote.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month.
All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

0

2 months ago

decision, decisions, humor, i, overthinking, self-deprecating, still, worst, worst decision

Someone from 🇬🇾 has recently shared this quote.

54 shares on Discord this month.

All funny worst decision quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

91 shares on Twitch this month:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Seen just now on Discord:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Trending via WeChat:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Spotted on Threads:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny worst decision quotes

New funny worst decision quotes 👇

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

All funny worst decision quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨