50+ Funny Call Quotes That Prove Every Phone Conversation Is A Comedy Risk

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.