New funny call quotes

• Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

• Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

• Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

• Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

• The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

• In a packed elevator, everyone is silent. Stomach: I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale.

• Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

• Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

• Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

• I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Top funny call quotes

• Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

• Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

• Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

• Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

• Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

• There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

• Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

• The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

• Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

• Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Popular funny call quotes

• We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

• When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

• I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

• Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

• Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

• So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

• I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

• I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

• So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

• Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

More funny call quotes

• Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

• People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

• You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

• If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

• Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

• I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

• The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

• Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

• Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

• Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Witty call quotes

• Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

• Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

• You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

• My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

• I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

• I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

• No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

• Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

• Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

• When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Funny call quotes remind us that phone calls can quickly spiral into awkward silences, weird small talk, or endless “can you hear me now?” moments 📶😂. Whether it’s calling customer service 🎧, answering a work call you weren’t prepared for 📊, or accidentally calling the wrong person 😬, every call has its funny risks. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s mastered the art of dreading phone calls 🙃. So embrace the awkwardness, laugh at the stumbles, and keep surviving every funny call life throws your way 🤪!