50+ Funny Call Quotes That Prove Every Phone Conversation Is A Comedy Risk

New funny call quotes

• So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

• Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

• Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

• People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

• You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

• If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

• Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

• I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

• The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

• Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Top funny call quotes

• Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

• Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

• Why do we call it tuna fish? Is there any other tuna out there that’s not a fish?

• Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

• You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

• My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

• I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

• I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

• No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

• Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Popular funny call quotes

• Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

• When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

• Using my one phone call to call Santa.

• You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

• The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

• The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

• Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

• I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

• The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

• Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

More funny call quotes

• If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

• For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

• When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

• TikTok? I still call it a watch.

• Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

• I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

• Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

• Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

• If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

• Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Witty call quotes

• If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

• Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

• I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

• Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

• If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

• Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

• Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

• WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

• Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

• I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Funny call quotes remind us that phone calls can quickly spiral into awkward silences, weird small talk, or endless “can you hear me now?” moments 📶😂. Whether it’s calling customer service 🎧, answering a work call you weren’t prepared for 📊, or accidentally calling the wrong person 😬, every call has its funny risks. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s mastered the art of dreading phone calls 🙃. So embrace the awkwardness, laugh at the stumbles, and keep surviving every funny call life throws your way 🤪!