New funny call quotes

• To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

• Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

• Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

• “Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

• The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

• My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

• I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

• Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

• We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

• Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Top funny call quotes

• Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

• Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

• Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

• Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

• Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

• He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

• When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

• Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

• This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

• Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Popular funny call quotes

• Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

• It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

• Well, I’ve been depressed and poor, but sure, we’ll call it intermittent fasting.

• Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

• I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

• Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

• At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

• The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

• Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

• Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

More funny call quotes

• My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

• Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

• I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

• Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

• Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

• Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

• Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

• Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

• There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

• Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Witty call quotes

• The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

• Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

• Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

• We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

• When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

• Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

• Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

• So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

• I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

• I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Funny call quotes remind us that phone calls can quickly spiral into awkward silences, weird small talk, or endless “can you hear me now?” moments 📶😂. Whether it’s calling customer service 🎧, answering a work call you weren’t prepared for 📊, or accidentally calling the wrong person 😬, every call has its funny risks. These quotes are perfect for anyone who’s mastered the art of dreading phone calls 🙃. So embrace the awkwardness, laugh at the stumbles, and keep surviving every funny call life throws your way 🤪!