50+ Funny Internet Quotes That Prove The Web Is One Giant Comedy Club

New funny internet quotes

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  Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

  Commentary:
  When someone communicates with memes, you're basically getting a PhD in hilarity 😂🎓 #MemeWisdom

• 
  People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

  Commentary:
  My secret? It's like shouting into the void, where the only echo is my unshakeable confidence 😂📣🕳️

• 
  I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

  Commentary:
  "Unleashing my brainwaves on the internet like a digital confetti cannon! 🎉🧠💥"

• 
  Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

  Commentary:
  When life gives you opinions, turn on read-only mode! 🤣📚💻

• 
  And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

  Commentary:
  Inheritance goals: ensuring my kids never run out of "What was I even looking at?" moments. 🧑‍💻📑💻

• 
  I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

  Commentary:
  I reject cookies as a diet plan, but my browser might be losing weight instead! 🍪❌😂

• 
  I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

  Commentary:
  Scrolling past drama like a pro 🧘‍♂️🖱️✨ No time for keyboard warriors here!

• 
  The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

  Commentary:
  Keeping civilization intact, one vintage upload at a time! 🕰️📽️🔗

• 
  I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

  Commentary:
  Sure, I'll gladly join the nocturnal crew! Who wouldn't prefer starlight and high-speed WiFi over sunburns and noisy neighbors? 🌜🌟💻

• 
  Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

  Commentary:
  Spreading kindness online—because "Get off my lawn!" doesn't work over Wi-Fi! 😄🌐

Top funny internet quotes

• 
  Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

  Commentary:
  Achievement unlocked: Internet peacekeeper! 🕊️💻😂

• 
  Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there.

  Commentary:
  Why, oh why, are folks out here pretending to be film critics? 🎬🍿😂

• 
  Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to sound smart but secretly consulting my phone like it's the dictionary hotline 📞🤔😂"

• 
  “I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

  Commentary:
  Relatable! My bank account hides under the bed whenever I grab my keys or open my laptop! 💸😅🚪🖥️

• 
  It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

  Commentary:
  Can't wait for the day when "XD" becomes a universal language—just think of all the emotions we could express in ancient meme hieroglyphics! 😆📜

• 
  Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

  Commentary:
  Who needs a therapist when your keyboard is ready to listen? 💻🛋️😂

• 
  Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

  Commentary:
  Oops, Pandora's inbox got opened, and now we're all stuck in a never-ending loop of cat memes and unsolicited opinions! 🐱📢😂

• 
  “You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like they're psychic… or just really stingy! 🔮😂

• 
  It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

  Commentary:
  Reported for trying to convert me into a vegetable cult member 🥦🚨😂

• 
  I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

  Commentary:
  Ah, yes, the golden age of the internet—where everything loaded faster than I could remember my passwords! 🌐💾😅

Popular funny internet quotes

• 
  Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

  Commentary:
  Sending my thoughts into the digital wild! 🎈😂 Let's hope they land in the right inbox instead of a tree! 🌳📬

• 
  Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

  Commentary:
  Trying to earn my PhD in social media! 📜😅 #ScrollScholar

• 
  It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

  Commentary:
  Your Honor, shitposting is the only court where no one objects 🙃🚀 #FreedomOfMeme

• 
  Instagram is run by celebrities. Twitter is run by the streets.

  Commentary:
  Sounds about right! One app for the red carpet, the other for the shoes on the ground! 🎤👠📸

• 
  I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

  Commentary:
  Screaming on the internet: the cardio workout you never knew you signed up for! 🎤🤯🏋️‍♀️

• 
  The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

  Commentary:
  Looks like we need a "grown-up supervision" feature for adults too! 🤦‍♂️😂 #AdultingFail

• 
  I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

  Commentary:
  So you're surfing the Wi-Fi waves while I'm inventing quantum memes 🌐😂🚀

• 
  Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

  Commentary:
  Trying to read a book, but Twitter keeps firing emojis at my brain! 📚🚀🤯

• 
  Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

  Commentary:
  Enjoying the sweet spot between cumbersome dial-up tones and AI overlords 😂📞🤖

• 
  “Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

  Commentary:
  Who knew that teleportation required a spatula and a Wi-Fi connection? 🍴✨📡

More funny internet quotes

• 
  Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

  Commentary:
  Guess I’m still waiting for a reply from mydreams.com’s tech support! 😄📧💤

• 
  One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

  Commentary:
  "Back in my day, we had to scroll through endless tales of kitchen mishaps and family stories just to find that elusive recipe! 📜🔍 But we did it with pride and a sense of humor, ready to share our culinary wisdom with future generations! 🧓🏼👵🏽🍴 #RecipeAdventure"

• 
  Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the rare and mysterious phenomenon of 'family time' emerges when the Internet takes a vacation! 😂 Who knew that bunch you live with are actually halfway decent humans? 🤔 Maybe the Wi-Fi outage was a blessing in disguise after all! 🌐👨‍👩‍👦"

• 
  Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew the Ancient Egyptians were trendsetters for online cat videos and social media rants? 🐱🖥️ Let's be honest, cats and walls have always been prime real estate for expression, whether it's hieroglyphics or memes!"

• 
  Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, Craigslist – where you can find anything from a used couch to a potential murder scene 🪓. Who knows, maybe they're just really good at hiding the bodies now 💀🤷‍♂️ #CraigslistMystery"

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  Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

  Commentary:
  Thanks to my middle name, I'm officially "David Facebook Amazon Netflix Smith." Talk about an identity crisis! 😂📧🔍

• 
  I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the internet is the great equalizer, where even the best of us can't resist going full Kanye mode 🤪📱 #OnlineStruggles"

• 
  Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry sweetie, mom's busy being an influencer on the world wide web 💻🌟 Who knew parenting could be so 'trending'? #MomLife #SocialMediaQueen"

• 
  Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs counting sheep when you have endless scrolling? 💤📱 Just another night lost to the captivating abyss of cat videos and memes. #SleeplessInCyberspace"

• 
  Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

  Commentary:
  "Just one quick peek at the internet… said every person ever, before embarking on an epic journey down the endless rabbit hole of cat videos, memes, and conspiracy theories. 🌐😂 #ProcrastinationGoals"

Witty internet quotes

• 
  No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

  Commentary:
  When life gives you lemons, someone on Reddit's already made a 3-part saga about their lemonade stand fiasco 🍋🤣📈

• 
  If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

  Commentary:
  Ah, Twitter – the virtual land of fleeting thoughts and endless debates! 🐦 If you've ever delved into the chaotic realm of Twitter threads and hot takes, you'd probably agree that creating Artificial Intelligence is our best shot at restoring some order and sanity in the digital universe! 🤖💬 After all, who knows, maybe AI can teach us a thing or two about concise communication and avoiding unnecessary drama! 😉🌐

• 
  My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good old days of the internet when websites screamed like banshees at startup! 😱🖥️💻 Just imagine the horror of browsing with your volume accidentally turned up! 😂 #ThrowbackTechTales"

• 
  I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good ol' days when ignorance was bliss! 🙈 Who needs internet trolls when you can have peace of mind instead? 😂 Let's cherish the memories of simpler times! 🌟

• 
  My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

  Commentary:
  📱💬 “RIP to the trendiest tombstone in town – always keeping up with the latest technology even in the afterlife! You can now WhatsApp the spirits in style! 👻💬”

• 
  On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the dilemma of our modern times: to be trapped in a vortex of cat videos and endless scrolling OR to brave the treacherous lands of 'No WiFi' zones. 🤔💻📵 It's a battle between #TeamNetflix and #TeamDisconnect… may the strongest signal prevail!"

• 
  Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

  Commentary:
  Ah, how the tables have turned! 🔄🙈 It seems the generation gap has shrunk to a mere Wi-Fi signal 📶, with parents now mastering the art of memes and emojis while their tech-savvy offspring raise an eyebrow at their online antics. Who knew our biggest concern would be explaining to our parents that not everything on the internet is true… 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤣

• 
  Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the golden age of the internet, when "age is just a number" had a whole different meaning! 😂🕰️💻

• 
  Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the perfect crime – burying a dead body among the endless sea of unread articles and forgotten tabs! 👀💻 Just make sure you don't accidentally close that tab when you're deep into the article… 🚫🔍 #TechSavvyMurderMystery"

• 
  Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs reliable internet anyway when you have the thrill of being mysteriously kicked out of every Zoom gathering? 🤷‍♂️ Embrace the unexpected hiatus and let your unreliable connection become the real MVP of your work-from-home experience! 💻🚫 #UnintentionalDrama"