On the internet itโ€™s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. Thatโ€™s why I invented it.

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid peopleโ€™s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. Sheโ€™s a nurse apparently.

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both โ€” naked people arguing about politics.

Itโ€™s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you canโ€™t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

On one hand, itโ€™s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, itโ€™s terrible to have access to the Internet.