212 funny internet quotes - Wordgag

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

May 23, 2026

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

May 23, 2026

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

May 23, 2026

Googling symptoms until you cry.

May 23, 2026

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

May 23, 2026

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

May 23, 2026

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

May 23, 2026

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

May 23, 2026

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

May 23, 2026

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

May 23, 2026

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

May 23, 2026May 23, 2026

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

May 23, 2026

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

May 22, 2026

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

May 22, 2026

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

May 22, 2026

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

May 22, 2026

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

May 22, 2026

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

May 22, 2026

I just lost all my tabs. Only now do I understand the tragedy that was the burning of the Library of Alexandria.

May 22, 2026

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

May 22, 2026

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

May 22, 2026

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

May 22, 2026

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

May 21, 2026

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

May 21, 2026

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

May 21, 2026

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

May 21, 2026

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

May 21, 2026

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

May 21, 2026

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

May 21, 2026

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

May 21, 2026

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

May 21, 2026

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

May 20, 2026

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

May 20, 2026

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

May 20, 2026

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

May 20, 2026

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

May 20, 2026

Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

May 20, 2026

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

May 20, 2026

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

May 20, 2026

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

May 20, 2026