50+ Funny Pun Quotes That Prove Wordplay Is The Best Kind Of Humor

New funny pun quotes

• So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

• I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

• Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

• Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

• Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

• Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

• A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

• Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

• Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

• I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Top funny pun quotes

• You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

• Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

• It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

• After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

• I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

• Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

• I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

• If you were a dinosaur, you’d be a Gorgeousaurus.

• He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

• If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Popular funny pun quotes

• Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

• Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

• Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

• How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

• Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

• Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

• The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

• Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

• Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

More funny pun quotes

• Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

• Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

• I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

• You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

• I wish tree puns were more poplar.

• To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

• Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

• Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

• Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

• Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Witty pun quotes

• The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

• If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

• I love ketchup from my head to-ma-toes.

• Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

• Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

• I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

• Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

• He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

• When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

• Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Funny pun quotes remind us that even the cheesiest jokes 🧀 can deliver the best laughs 🤣. Whether it’s sneaking puns into conversations 🗣️, crafting clever captions 📸, or sharing groan-worthy jokes with friends 🙃, puns never fail to entertain. These quotes are perfect for anyone who proudly embraces the fine art of wordplay 🤪. So embrace the cringe, enjoy the cleverness, and laugh your way through a pun-filled comedy session 😂!