New funny pun quotes

• Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

• If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

• Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

• Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

• I just bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

• I need to have a ginger ale about this.

• I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

• May the algorithms be with you.

• Salary week, but salary weak.

• People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Top funny pun quotes

• What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

• The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

• Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

• It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

• The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

• Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

• If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

• Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

• Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

• Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Popular funny pun quotes

• “I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

• Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

• “Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

• Have you tried making guacamole about it?

• Fifty shades of I miss you.

• If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

• Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

• Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

• No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

• Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

More funny pun quotes

• Living la vida taco!

• Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

• I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

• The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

• To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

• I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

• Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

• People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

• Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

• The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Witty pun quotes

• The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

• Windmill? Big fan.

• Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

• So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

• I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

• Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

• Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

• Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

• Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

• A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Funny pun quotes remind us that even the cheesiest jokes 🧀 can deliver the best laughs 🤣. Whether it’s sneaking puns into conversations 🗣️, crafting clever captions 📸, or sharing groan-worthy jokes with friends 🙃, puns never fail to entertain. These quotes are perfect for anyone who proudly embraces the fine art of wordplay 🤪. So embrace the cringe, enjoy the cleverness, and laugh your way through a pun-filled comedy session 😂!