50+ Funny Sorry Quotes That Prove Apologies Are A Comedy Genre Of Their Own

New funny sorry quotes

• 
  Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

  Commentary:
  Preemptive ghosting: the spooky art of vanishing before becoming the vanishee! 👻🙈

• 
  Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

  Commentary:
  Responding with the speed of a sloth on vacation! 🦥📱 Can't rush greatness, right? 🍽️🚶‍♂️

• 
  Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the socializing hangover is real! 😂🥴📅 I'll see you in 2024.

• 
  Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

  Commentary:
  Oops, my screen froze in panic mode, now my phone needs therapy! 📱😂💆‍♀️

• 
  Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

  Commentary:
  That moment when your couch suddenly has a magnetic pull stronger than any social plans 🤣🛋️📞

• 
  I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

  Commentary:
  Awooga! Guess my inner cartoon character couldn't handle the wardrobe malfunction! 😂🚨

• 
  Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

  Commentary:
  Procrastination level: expert 🤣🛌📈

• 
  Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

  Commentary:
  Sure thing! How about this: "I guess I should have sent a 6-month notice before actually wanting a car 🚗🤔🙈"

• 
  Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

  Commentary:
  Haunting level: professional! I'm here… sometimes. 👻💌

• 
  Sorry, I booped your nose, but I was really hoping it was a mute button.

  Commentary:
  Boop! Looks like I accidentally hit the "volume up" button instead 😅🔊🤐

Top funny sorry quotes

• 
  Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

  Commentary:
  When your room screams "toy store explosion" but you're still aiming for romance 😂🎨🛍️

• 
  The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

  Commentary:
  Finally getting the "I told you so" badge—life's ultimate achievement unlocked! 🏆🎉😄

• 
  Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

  Commentary:
  Rules are rules, and my imaginary committee takes them VERY seriously! 🎩📜😂

• 
  Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like a productive meeting with the wall’s latest updates 🛋️⏳🧖‍♂️

• 
  I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

  Commentary:
  When life turns into a remix and my patience hits skip 😂🔊🙉

• 
  Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

  Commentary:
  Just pausing your scroll to sprinkle some good vibes and remind you that the universe didn't forget about your Amazon wishlist 😄🛒✨

• 
  Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

  Commentary:
  When the universe turns into a symphony of chaos, I become the conductor of confusion! 🎶🤯🔊

• 
  Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like someone took "puppy love" a bit too literally! 🐶😂

• 
  Sorry if I seem sad, I got a new long-sleeve shirt for fall, but I haven’t been able to wear it yet because it’s 94°.

  Commentary:
  Guess your new shirt is on an extended summer vacation! 🌞😅👕

• 
  Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

  Commentary:
  When your phone's a magnet and maturity strikes at the wrong time 😂📱💬

Popular funny sorry quotes

• 
  Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

  Commentary:
  When your ears need glasses too! 🤓👂😂

• 
  Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

  Commentary:
  When social batteries run low, I just set them to airplane mode! ✈️🔋🙅‍♂️

• 
  Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

  Commentary:
  My brain's a circus and all the clowns want airtime 🤡🎪🎉

• 
  Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

  Commentary:
  Looks like I'm booked for an evening of overthinking and imaginary arguments! 🤔😂🗓️

• 
  I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

  Commentary:
  Oops, my mouth thought it was extra buttery popcorn! 🍿🙊

• 
  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

  Commentary:
  Oh, please do enlighten me with your wisdom on how I should navigate this chaotic ride called life! 📝🤣 It's always good to have a self-appointed expert on hand!

• 
  Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

  Commentary:
  "No need to apologize, tardiness just means you were savoring the sweet taste of freedom for a bit longer! 😜⏳ #FashionablyLate"

• 
  Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry boys, but my heart is like a GPS – it's already set on a destination that doesn't involve a U-turn! 🚫👀😜"

• 
  Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"

• 
  Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

  Commentary:
  Oh, the power of a well-timed apology! Ladies, let's practice this mantra: "I was wrong and I am sorry!" 🙈💁‍♀️ Humility looks good on everyone, after all!

More funny sorry quotes

• 
  Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, I'm so broke that I can't even afford to pay attention…I guess my attention span is on a budget now! 🤑💸 #BillsGotMeStrapped"

• 
  Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

  Commentary:
  "Dear sleep, I'm sorry I left you for the snooze button this morning. Can we rekindle our relationship? 💔😴 #SleepIsBae"

• 
  Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, I'd lend a hand but they're too busy expressing skepticism 😂🤷‍♂️ Who knew air quotes could be so demanding?!"

• 
  Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've got a real 'fishy' excuse on our hands here 🐠 Who knew a pet fish could have such a vast family tree? Maybe it was a distant relative of Nemo! 🐟😂 #ExcuseGameStrong"

• 
  I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

  Commentary:
  "Oops, my bad! Note to self: biting is not an approved flirting technique. 🦷😅 Maybe stick to the basics next time, like compliments or a charming smile! 😉"

• 
  Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

  Commentary:
  "Oh, pardon me for daring to momentarily steal the spotlight from your riveting monologue. I'll be sure to schedule my interruptions better next time 🙄💁‍♂️"

• 
  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

  Commentary:
  Well, I guess sometimes silence really isn't golden when it comes to bathroom exhaust fans! 🤫✨ Who knew a little hum could make all the difference in the world of ventilation? Just another reminder that even the most unassuming things can have their moment to shine…or in this case, whirl! 🔇💨😂

• 
  My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

  Commentary:
  "Welcome to the ever-evolving museum of the 'clean house'! 🏠✨ Here today, gone tomorrow – don't blink or you might miss it! 🙈🚫 #CleaningDilemmas"

• 
  Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the struggle of a modern-day cave person in a digital world! 🧠🍇 Don't worry, we'll try not to disturb your berry-eating focus next time! 😄📱"

• 
  Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

  Commentary:
  No worries, better to be fashionably late than blindly following what doors are saying! 🤣🚪 Next time, just make sure to consult with the windows too! 😉

Witty sorry quotes

• 
  Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the digital age has revolutionized romance! 💌💻 Who needs a card when you've got endless texts, emojis, and GIFs to express your affection, right? Happy paperless anniversary, lovebirds! 🥂💕"

• 
  I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, can't make it to our plans – apparently my transformation into a super organized, punctual being got lost in the mail 📬💁‍♀️ Maybe next week, when I'm a whole new me! 🤷‍♂️😆"

• 
  Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

  Commentary:
  "Apology accepted… as long as you promise not to eavesdrop on me while I'm planning our next vacation 🌴👂😆 #SelectiveHearing #SavedByTheIgnorance"

• 
  I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

  Commentary:
  "Apologies in advance for my 'creative' vocabulary when stuck in traffic caused by my love for hitting snooze ⏰🤭 #RunningLateAntics"

• 
  If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

  Commentary:
  "If I was an elephant, you'd all be sorry 🐘🤣 Better step lightly, folks, or I'll trump-et my way through your fine china collection! Watch out, fragile items ahead! #ElephantInTheRoom"

• 
  Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

  Commentary:
  "No need to apologize for midnight shenanigans! Just know that your crush game is out of this world 🛸💫 #LevitatingLove #SupernaturalSweetheart"

• 
  Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your presentation was a real rollercoaster ride without safety belts! 🎢🚫 #StaySafe"

• 
  Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"

• 
  I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the irony of offering a coupon for more 'terrible, terrible food'! 🍔🤣 It's like getting a gift card for a rollercoaster that only goes downhill. Hope your taste buds have a sense of humor! 😅"

• 
  I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

  Commentary:
  "Oops, looks like debt collectors will have to hunt down my past selves! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Time travel might be the only solution here! ⏳🚀 Oh well, new year, new debts to ignore! 😆💼 #OutOfSightOutOfMind"