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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Just shared via Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Trending via Twitch:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Breaking via Slack:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Going viral on Messenger:

If being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now!

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Funny AC quotes

Funny AC quotes ❄️😄 keep us cool and laughing even when the heat is on! Whether you’re battling summer sweat or just love a good chill joke, these witty lines bring refreshing humor to every overheated moment. Get ready to breeze through the hottest days with a smile and some seriously cool laughs! 🌞😂🧊

New funny AC quotes 👇

All funny AC quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Icarus loved hot wings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Mercury retrograde: because adulting is hard, and sometimes you just need a celestial excuse.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Just shared via X:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Just landed via X:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

Just landed via Facebook:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Shared recently on Slack:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

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