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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Spotted on Threads:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Shared recently on Slack:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Just landed via TikTok:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Just landed via Slack:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Funny astronaut quotes

Funny astronaut quotes 🚀👩‍🚀 bring a cosmic twist to everyday humor, blasting off boredom and landing laughs right out of this world! Whether you’re a space geek or just love a good chuckle 🌌😂, these witty words from those who’ve floated among the stars will have you grinning faster than a rocket launch. Ready to orbit some clever comedy? Let’s explore the lighter side of life in zero gravity! 🌟✨

New funny astronaut quotes 👇

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

3 weeks ago

adult, astronaut, celebrity, comparison, humor, identity, katy, Katy Perry, perry, same, space
I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

4 weeks ago

allowed, astronaut, back, choice, decision, humor, i, return, should, space, think
Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

4 weeks ago

absurdity, astronaut, chimpanzee, greet, horse, horses, just, landing, should, space

All funny astronaut quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Threads this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Shared recently on Threads:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Trending via Reddit:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

Making waves on Discord:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Making waves on Telegram:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Going viral on X:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

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