Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

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I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

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Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

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I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

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Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

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Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

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I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.