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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,874

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Going bananas on Threads:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Spotted on Instagram:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Seen just now on WeChat:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Spotted on Slack:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Seen just now on X:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Shared recently on Threads:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

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All funny birth name quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,024

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Seen just now on Threads:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Spotted on Discord:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Just landed via X:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Making waves on Discord:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

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