Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

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I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

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Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

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I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

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People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

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Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

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People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

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The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

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Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.