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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Just shared via Instagram:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Trending via Instagram:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Funny bourbon quotes

Funny bourbon quotes bring a splash of humor to your favorite amber sip 🥃✨ Whether you’re winding down after a long day or sharing laughs with friends, these witty lines capture the spirit of bourbon perfectly 😄🔥 Get ready to toast with a smile and enjoy the lighter side of this classic drink! Cheers to good times and great laughs! 🍻🎉

New funny bourbon quotes 👇

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

0

2 months ago

bourbon, cup, disguise, drinking, enjoying, fun, hot, humor, meeting, occasionally, social, tea, think, Zoom
That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

0

3 months ago

bourbon, bourbon chicken, chicken, disappointment, food, food disappointment, food taste, good, i, mall, mall food, only, order, same, swear, taste, toothpick
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

0

5 months ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least
Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

0

5 months ago

adulthood, bourbon, comfort, couch, drink, homebody, humor, maturing, relaxation

All funny bourbon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Threads this month:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

75 shares on TikTok this month:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Just shared via TikTok:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Going bananas on Reddit:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Breaking via Discord:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Making waves on Slack:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Trending via WeChat:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Going viral on YouTube:

Stop letting people who are going to hell bother you.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

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