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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Shared recently on YouTube:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Just landed via Instagram:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Just shared via Reddit:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Just shared via Discord:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Funny bourbon quotes

Funny bourbon quotes bring a splash of humor to your favorite amber sip 🥃✨ Whether you’re winding down after a long day or sharing laughs with friends, these witty lines capture the spirit of bourbon perfectly 😄🔥 Get ready to toast with a smile and enjoy the lighter side of this classic drink! Cheers to good times and great laughs! 🍻🎉

New funny bourbon quotes 👇

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

0

2 months ago

bourbon, cup, disguise, drinking, enjoying, fun, hot, humor, meeting, occasionally, social, tea, think, Zoom
That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

0

3 months ago

bourbon, bourbon chicken, chicken, disappointment, food, food disappointment, food taste, good, i, mall, mall food, only, order, same, swear, taste, toothpick
Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

0

5 months ago

after, age, aging, alcohol, better, bourbon, drinking, feel, feeling, feeling better, fine, fine bourbon, humor, least
Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

0

5 months ago

adulthood, bourbon, comfort, couch, drink, homebody, humor, maturing, relaxation

All funny bourbon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

13 shares on Slack this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

27 shares on Threads this month:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,300

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m slowly becoming an adult. Please make it stop.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Just shared via Pinterest:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

Just landed via YouTube:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Just landed via Messenger:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

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