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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Your Honor, that doesn’t sound like me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,015

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

Spotted on Discord:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Just shared via Reddit:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Seen just now on X:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Spotted on Slack:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,548

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,548

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,822

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Spotted on Instagram:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Breaking via Messenger:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

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