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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Spotted on Messenger:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Just shared via X:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Just shared via X:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Trending via Messenger:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Just shared via Instagram:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

3 hours ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Trending via X:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Going viral on Slack:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Making waves on Discord:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

Trending via Messenger:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Trending via Snapchat:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Spotted on X:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

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