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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1883 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,045

Funny Quotes Topics

14,832

Funny Quotes Images

12,045

48 seconds ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Going viral on YouTube:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Trending via LinkedIn:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Live now on Reddit:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Home » Funny Certain Quotes

Funny certain quotes

Funny certain quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and unexpected wisdom 💡 to brighten your day! Whether you’re in need of a quick chuckle or a clever twist on life’s little certainties, these gems are sure to tickle your funny bone 🤣 and spark some joy. Get ready to smile wide and share the fun with friends because humor + truth = pure magic! ✨🎉

New funny certain quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Commentary:
"Whoever invented these spellings must have had a 'wry' sense of humor! 🤔🤣🗓️"
2 months ago
Share →: That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Commentary:
"When you give yourself the 'never again' pep talk… only for future you to say 'hold my drink' 😂🙈🍻"
2 months ago
Share →: You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Commentary:
"Careful, those swag points might reach critical levels! 😎💥 #TooCool"
2 months ago
Share →: You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Commentary:
"When touching your toes feels like an Olympic sport. 🏋️‍♂️🧘‍♀️😅"
4 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Commentary:
Oh, wouldn't that be a nifty superpower?! 🤫🔇 Just imagine dialing down the drama and cranking up the peace and quiet. Ah, the blissful silence! 🤐😆
6 months ago
Share →: I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Commentary:
"Well, there goes my faith in your ability to comprehend sarcasm 🤨. Maybe next time I should include a 'sarcasm for dummies' guide along with my comments 📚😂."

For even more funny certain quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny certain quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1883 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,045

Funny Quotes Topics

14,832

Funny Quotes Images

12,045

48 seconds ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Trending via TikTok:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Spotted on Discord:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Reported on WeChat:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Making waves on WeChat:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

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