Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Making waves on X:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

Spotted on Slack:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Just landed via X:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via Twitch:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Funny dog groomer quotes

New funny dog groomer quotes 👇

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

2 weeks ago

care, dog, dog groomer, experience, funny observation, groom, groomer, grooming, grooming experience, haircut, i, just, myself, observation, own, pet, pet care, stylist, understand

All funny dog groomer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Making waves on Threads:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Breaking via Facebook:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Going bananas on Discord:

The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Trending via Threads:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Going viral on X:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny dog groomer quotes

New funny dog groomer quotes 👇

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

All funny dog groomer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨