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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Spreading quickly via X:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just landed via Instagram:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Live now on Facebook:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

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All funny far away quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

31 shares on X this month:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I love when the plot thickens.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Just shared via Facebook:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Spotted on Threads:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Just landed via Facebook:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Just shared via Twitch:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Spotted on YouTube:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

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