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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

26 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Breaking via Instagram:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Seen just now on YouTube:

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Making waves on Telegram:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Just landed via Messenger:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Spotted on Slack:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Home » Funny Fellas Quotes

Funny fellas quotes

New funny fellas quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Commentary:
Ah, the age-old advice for fellas! 🤭 It's a foolproof way to set a new world record in the 100-meter "doghouse dash." 🏃‍♂️ Just remember, behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes. 😂 #SleepingOnTheCouchTonight
6 months ago
Share →: Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Commentary:
Oh, of course! Because nothing says romance like a good ol' interrogation! 🕵️‍♂️💬 Remember, ladies love confidence, so just boldly proclaim your undying love for pickles or your expertise in underwater basket weaving. Who needs questions when you've got statements as smooth as a jazz saxophonist on a moonlit night? Keep those words coming, fellas! 🎤🌙 #DatingAdvice #NoQuestionsAsked
6 months ago
Share →: Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Commentary:
"Looks like ET is in for a treat! 👽🎁 Who knew extraterrestrial hospitality involved gift baskets? Hope they come in peace, or at least with some intergalactic snacks!" 😄🌌

For even more funny fellas quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny fellas quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

26 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Just shared via Facebook:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Going viral on Messenger:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Breaking via Discord:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Just shared via Telegram:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

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