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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Going bananas on Threads:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Making waves on TikTok:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Just shared via Instagram:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Funny FOMO quotes

Funny FOMO quotes bring all the laughs when you’re stuck on the sidelines while everyone else is living it up 🎉😅 Whether you’re scrolling through endless party pics or binge-watching FOMO moments, these witty lines capture that hilarious fear of missing out perfectly 🤪📱 Get ready to giggle and relate because sometimes missing out is the best punchline! 😂✨

New funny FOMO quotes 👇

All funny FOMO quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Messenger this month:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I am cassette tape years old.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

82 shares on X this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

80 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,436

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Just shared via Telegram:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Seen just now on Slack:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Trending via Facebook:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Spotted on Reddit:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

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