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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

Just landed via Threads:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My life is based on a true story.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Trending via Pinterest:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Spotted on Instagram:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Home » Funny Groomer Quotes

Funny groomer quotes

Funny groomer quotes bring a splash of humor to the world of pet pampering 🐾✂️ Whether you’re a pro with scissors or just a pet parent who’s seen it all, these witty sayings will brighten your day and celebrate the quirky side of grooming 🐶💇‍♂️ Get ready to laugh, relate, and share some smiles with every snip and fluff! 😂🐕‍🦺

New funny groomer quotes 👇

All funny groomer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

60 shares on X this month:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

My life is constantly oscillating between “must save money” and “you only live once”.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,930

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Technically, all the money I have ever spent on food has been flushed down the toilet.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Going viral on X:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Just shared via Slack:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Making waves on WeChat:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Going viral on WeChat:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

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