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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I’m not a very good poker player cause my eyes turn into big dollar signs when I see that I have a good hand.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

42 seconds ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Trending via Pinterest:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Spotted on Telegram:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Going viral on Threads:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Making waves on Facebook:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Reported on Reddit:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

42 seconds ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Shared recently on Facebook:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Just shared via Messenger:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Going viral on Threads:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Trending via Threads:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Going viral on Pinterest:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Spotted on YouTube:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

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