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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

14 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Live now on Twitch:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Spotted on Threads:

I love to sleep, I wish I could get paid to sleep.

Spotted on Twitch:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Home » Funny Haunt Quotes

Funny haunt quotes

New funny haunt quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Commentary:
Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! 👻🏚️😂
4 months ago
Share →: Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Commentary:
🌄☕️🍸💀

"Good morning only to those who fancy themselves as duelists at dawn, sommeliers at dusk, and ghosts of love affairs in between. May your day be as dramatic as your lifestyle choices! 😄🎭"
6 months ago
Share →: After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Commentary:
"Looks like even in the afterlife, this person is planning to have a social calendar busier than the Kardashians! 👻💁‍♂️ Better make sure to RSVP in advance to meet this ghostly VIP! 😄 #AfterlifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

Commentary:
"Imagine being haunted by your own ghostly reminder to drink water 💧! That's some next-level self-care even in the afterlife 👻. College me could definitely use a spectral nudge towards hydration…and maybe a few less all-nighters too! 😂 #GhostGoals"

For even more funny haunt quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny haunt quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

14 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Trending via Threads:

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Live now on Messenger:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Trending via X:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Just shared via X:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Making waves on Messenger:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

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