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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

I’d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The morning routine that takes the longest: finding the will to live.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

Just landed via Threads:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Spotted on WeChat:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Just shared via X:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Funny historical figure quotes

Funny historical figure quotes 😂✨ bring a hilarious twist to the past, proving that even history’s greatest minds had a cheeky side! From witty one-liners to unexpected zingers, these timeless gems make learning about legends way more entertaining 🎉📜. Ready to chuckle through time? Let’s dive into the funniest words ever spoken by the icons who shaped our world! 😎🕰️

New funny historical figure quotes 👇

All funny historical figure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WeChat this month:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

71 shares on Threads this month:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

34 shares on X this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Shared recently on Slack:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Spotted on Instagram:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

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