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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1857 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,019

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,019

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Reported on TikTok:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Reported on Discord:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Spreading quickly via X:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Just shared via Slack:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Going viral on Discord:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Seen just now on Slack:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1857 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,019

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,019

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

Shared recently on Slack:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Making waves on Threads:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Breaking via Threads:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Reported on Telegram:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Spotted on YouTube:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

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