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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1858 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,020

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,020

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Going viral on X:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Live now on Snapchat:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Making waves on Threads:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Breaking via Telegram:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Shared recently on Threads:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Broadcasted on X:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1858 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,020

Funny Quotes Topics

14,813

Funny Quotes Images

12,020

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Freshly posted on X:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Making waves on Facebook:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Just shared via Snapchat:

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

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