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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Aura is the real business card.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Trending via WhatsApp:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Just shared via Reddit:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Going viral on Threads:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Spreading quickly via X:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Just shared via X:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Seen just now on YouTube:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Just landed via Facebook:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Making waves on Discord:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Just landed via YouTube:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Spotted on Slack:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Reported on Instagram:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Just landed via Discord:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

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