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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

Everybody is fighting a battle that you don’t know about, because of the first rule of Fight Club.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Spotted on Messenger:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Just shared via YouTube:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Reported on Discord:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Spotted on X:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Just landed via Threads:

I want to run through your dreams and settle in your nightmares.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

814 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,976

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,976

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Breaking via X:

My longest relationship has been with my Hotmail account.

Going viral on TikTok:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Spotted on Threads:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Breaking via Slack:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Trending via X:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

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