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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Jan 11, 2026

3,588

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Just landed via YouTube:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Making waves on Messenger:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Seen just now on YouTube:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Making waves on Twitch:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Funny missed opportunity quotes

Funny missed opportunity quotes 😂 are the perfect way to laugh at life’s little slip-ups and “almosts” 🎯. Whether you missed the bus or that once-in-a-lifetime chance, these witty lines turn regrets into giggles 🤪. Embrace the humor in missed moments and remind yourself that sometimes, the best stories come from what didn’t quite happen! 🚀✨

New funny missed opportunity quotes 👇

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

3 days ago

anxiety, FOMO, happening, hindsight, humor, know, missed, missed opportunity, opportunity, regret, slang, social, social anxiety, word
You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

2 months ago

answer, call, calls, communication, gossip, humor, interaction, miss, missed, missed opportunity, opportunity, phone, phone call, social, social interaction
Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

2 months ago

humor, irony, just, life, missed, missed opportunity, opportunity, reflection, sequence

All funny missed opportunity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Threads this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

38 shares on Threads this month:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

91 shares on X this month:

Love is in the air fryer.

18 shares on X this month:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss you (the money I spent).

67 shares on Twitch this month:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

99 shares on X this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize booing in the workplace.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Just landed via Threads:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Freshly posted on X:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Just shared via Threads:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

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